Me, Road Captain in Pride parade. That was my Harley on the left.

It’s June, “Pride Month”—for LGBTQ, but not for transsexuals if we don’t agree to hide our sexuality.

It’s a paradox. LGBTQ who rightly insist that society accept them with their difference are not extending that acceptance or even tolerance to transsexualism unless we say we’re transgender.

It’s a culture of secrecy about trans person sexuality. In the LGBTQ movement, the T only means “transgender,” not also “transsexual” which is included by implication with gender, not even “trans person.”

A common scenario: I’m friendly in general, glad to see people, hoping to make friends…then they realize I’m not June Cleaver and ask, “Are you transgender?” I smile and say, “No, I’m transsexual.” Suddenly their light of friendship fades. Defensive assumptions are made that I think I’m superior to others, that I don’t like them somehow, that I’m not compassionate for the plight of transgenders or that I’m hostile to them. They distance. I don’t get invited to events and things I then later say or do are mis-interpreted as not okay, sometimes I’m threatened—rather like some muggles have done to me just for being a trans person.

The anti-trans-physical-sex transgender paradigm is enforced in mis-guided compassion for transgenders’ request for privacy. I’m expected to hide my sexuality because others want to hide theirs, and if I don’t, I’m ousted. People don’t seem to mind that it slams me.

My husband, Joe, was a conservative Republican Christian Defense Dept. engineer; I was a liberal Democrat Jewish transsexual. Respect, liking, even loving someone with a different view is part of my nature.

I have to have their view or I’m disliked?

How is that respect with difference?

How is that any different from a straight person who dislikes a gay person?

How is that any different from someone of one religion or race who may not like another for such a difference?

This is bias, prejudice, and it’s as ugly for people to press on me as it is for other, more recognized minorities: liberal people who don’t like conservative people; white people who don’t like black people; religions who don’t like each other; transgenders who don’t like transsexuals unless we say we’re also transgender.

I am transsexual. I am okay as such. I need acceptance for my own salient issues.

I need to exist.

Posted by:Jenna Ware

Widow of Joseph F. Ware Jr., Dept. Mgr. Engineering Flight Test, Skunk Works, Lockheed (2 Air Force Ones, U-2, SR-71...); former NSA, NSOC, NSGA, Ft. Meade, MD; former forensic psychiatric social worker, MSW, LCSW; pilot, ATP/CFI; co-founder Ware Lab, Virginia Tech; asking for equality for all, including our sexuality; transsexual, 1981; author of "Shadow Life," sharing dangers of hiding trans person sexuality so others don't make the same mistakes I did.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.