Transgender Paradigm is Sexual Harassment

It used to be that both sex and gender were allowed. A person was free to discuss or identify with either, both, or neither.

But since the turn of the century, society has increasingly pressured trans people to be without a need to be a sex, the other sex, or without a needed sexual response as a sex.

This hatred of T sexualities— Ugh. When I’m overly diplomatic, people hating distort more gentle or indirect statements, so I’ll try to be more clear:

Pressuring me not to accept my sexuality—even saying it’s offensive—is sexual harassment.

It’s institutional. Society embraces it. It’s demeaning. It debases all trans people—because we’re not supposed to mention transgender sexualities, either—and the hell of it is that most trans people demand their own sexuality be treated as offensive.


Most people are disgusted by sex-and-gender non-binarism.

Transgenders demand mention of their sexuality be considered offensive as a social mechanism to focus only on gender role.

And people feel if they have to put up with transgenders, at least hide the ugly sex issues, make it look like victimization of a poor downtrodden minority if you mention it, and then only deal with gender role. Denial helps avoid the hated parts.


  • “Transgender” is sexual harassment because it is used as an umbrella term, so that even if “transsexual” is mentioned as something old and offensive, it defaults back to “transgender” and “transsexual” disappears;
  • “Gender Identity” is sexual harassment because “Sex Identity” is not allowed;
  • “Gender” is sexual harassment when “sex” is not allowed.

And I’m not advocating for sex-not-gender. We’re BOTH valued and should be equal in respect and inclusion. I don’t want to take anything away from another’s view; I just want to also be included—think of it like conflicting religions: Be neutral, live and let live.

How it Developed

In the 20th century, transsexualism was getting grudging acceptance. Many people were open about being transsexual or a need to be the other sex. I spoke in universities about it, others did. I needed and got sex reassignment surgery. I was helped by the ACLU Transsexual Rights Committee. Harry Benjamin, MD wrote “The Transsexual Phenomenon.”

Virginia Prince, Ph.D. was open as a self-promoted transgenderist—which isn’t dirty, either. It means “someone who is transgender.” Transgenders just say it’s dirty today because Virginia was open with T sexualities, and they want to distance. Transgenders outnumber transsexuals an easy 10:1, and they wanted to come out more, as transsexuals were. But society wouldn’t accept them, say, as a woman if they didn’t also want to be female, i.e., with a male sexuality and penis.

So transgenders said it’s horrible to mention their sexual issues, pretend they don’t have a sexuality, and they had to quiet mention of transsexual sex issues, too (the need to be the other sex, needed sexual response of the other sex), so the issue of those things wouldn’t be raised in transgender regard.

So now days, I get slammed for existing, my core, the deepest issues of my soul said to be offensive.

It’s okay to say my neurological needs are offensive, and if I do say them, I’m being offensive, even transphobic.

I’m no longer allowed to be. I’m supposed to not accept my sexualitiy because others don’t accept theirs? Whatever happened to “Be Yourself”?

Yet my neurological need remains.

Society doesn’t know the pain of the mind/body sex rift. Transgenders don’t, either; what they feel is a gender rift not the same thing. And neither wants to understand.

Doctors, family, others, legislators, universities, hospitals…all try to push gender on me.

It’s sexual harassment. It’s here every day.

When will it ever stop?

Posted by:Jenna Ware

Widow of Joseph F. Ware Jr., Dept. Mgr. Engineering Flight Test, Skunk Works, Lockheed (2 Air Force Ones, U-2, SR-71...); former NSA, NSOC, NSGA, Ft. Meade, MD; former forensic psychiatric social worker, MSW, LCSW; pilot, ATP/CFI; co-founder Ware Lab, Virginia Tech; asking for equality for all, including our sexuality; transsexual, 1981; author of "Shadow Life," sharing dangers of hiding trans person sexuality so others don't make the same mistakes I did.

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