Apples and tomatoes may look similar, and we may well love them both. But if we do not see how they're different, we cannot really appreciate either.
Apples and tomatoes may look similar, and we may well love them both. But if we do not see how they’re different, we cannot really appreciate either.

The Differences

What Transgenderism Really Is
A Note on Sex and Gender
Why Do Most Transgenders Not Want to Change Sex Also

Hormones May be Stopped
False Excuses for Avoiding SRS
If T Sex is Admitted as Okay
The Transgender Umbrella is Sex-negativity Promoted as Truth

Physical Sex Cannot as yet be Changed, but We’re Still Here
Cooperating with T Sex-negativity is Transphobia
The Cure is to Make T Sex Issues Okay

We are Unwanted Minorities


People feel certain that “gender” is a binary concept, that “woman” also means “female” and “man” also means “male.” They see this every day. It seems like a fact, reality, the simple truth of it.

But for most trans people, this is not true. About 90% of trans people do change gender role in society, but they do not want to be the other physical sex. This is a sex-and-gender non-binarism, and it helps show that while sex and gender are correlated in most people, they are separate things treated differently by transgender people.

Yet, fearing society’s hatred of that non-binarism, the “transgender” social movement says to make trans person focus just on gender role while hiding or minimizing sex issues, saying they are “private,” offensive to mention.

That process suppresses and shames people like me, because my life, my core issues, are exactly those sex issues said to be unspeakable.

I believe the transgender social movement is a stepping stone on the path to social integration, not the end goal. I have been involved since 1977, and I’ve seen this develop and change in society. TG sex-and-gender non-binarism needs to come out of the closet and begin to be treated equally as okay, following in the footsteps of our brothers and sisters in the gay movement.

With this in mind, and with clarity of those suppressed sex issues, I will try to explain below why transgenderism is not transsexualism, and why it is wrong to demean T sex issues.

The Differences

Most people need to be their same sex and gender as binary.

Some very few need to be binary in sex and gender—but as the other binary: transsexualism.

What most people do not want to grapple with is that about 90% of trans people need to be non-binary, living in the other gender role yet not wanting to physically be the other sex: transgenderism.

All of these and more—such as intersex—are valid human ways of living. We cannot consider ourselves egalitarian or free of prejudice if we suppress another.

With the current emphasis on gender role-not-sex for trans people, people like me who need to be the other actual sex are having our narratives lost as we’re forced into a gender-not-sex box, the lid screwed on so tight that people are being given false information about our life, told our sexuality is not okay to have, even told it is transphobic to ask about us (scroll down to Planned Parenthood section).

I agree with Virginia Prince, Ph.D., that it is important not to use gender role as an umbrella for all trans people, as to do so impairs understanding of trans people who need to be the opposite sex from each other.

Trans person sex needs must not be locked in a closet any more.

What Transgenderism Really Is

Transgenderism is the demonstrated need to be the other gender in society yet not the need to be the other physical sex. This must be considered a separate phenomenon from people who need to be the other sex, as phenomena are distinct by significant difference, and physical sex is significant.

The primary thing transgenders need to change is gender role. It is not a point in a process; it is the goal, the way of living that is desired.

Most would consider SRS to be mutilation because their sexuality is not cross. It is by far the most popular way of trans living.

It breaks down differently, depending on how you group things:

Grouping all trans people by social gender role asserts “transgender” as an “umbrella” term for all, does not acknowledge if someone wants to be the other sex or not, suppresses T sexualities, recommends social de-sexing of us, prevents full social integration, says it’s transphobic if someone even asks if I am transsexual (scroll down to Planned Parenthood as an example). This disrespects and is harmful to all trans persons.

Grouping by main issue affirms people by what they’re really trying to be. Most things in life have things in common with other things, yet are distinct by significant difference. This allows all trans persons to be recognized by their main issue, not suppressed to please prejudice. This is the way it was before the current gender-not-sex social movement.

I am supportive of transgenderism, also—living cis sex and trans gender—but the lesson of my life has been the importance of being and valuing ourselves and how we harm ourselves trying to avoid our sexuality.

I include sexuality in transgenderism because it is a way of being that is okay, and suppressing it is prejudiced. I state sexuality in transgenderism because after a generation of suppression, it must be stated or approval of suppression is tacit.

A Note on Sex and Gender
Transgender sexualities are to be hidden in a box, transphobic.
Trans person sexualities are to be hidden in a box, their mention slammed as offensive and transphobic.

The social effort to suppress trans person sexualities does not change the fact that transgenders are as sexual as any other group. It’s just that in a sex-negative society, needs are being pretended or hidden.

In transgenderism, social acceptance as the other physical sex (not just gender) is desired as part of society’s binarism, but it is not the desire to actually be the other sex, sexually. Transgender people (by main issue phenomenon) prefer cis-type genitalia and sexual response; it is the reason SRS is not sought.

As well in these sex-negative times, many people in society are also feeling their own sex identity and gender identity challenged—or even if they don’t feel personally challenged, have intellectual concerns about hiding something as basic as sex, such as J.K. Rowling expressed. This is reasonable, yet even that gets slammed in an effort to suppress.

In transsexualism, by contrast to transgenderism, the need is to actually be the other sex. It is quite alright for society to know that our sexuality is of the other sex. But society says our sexuality is also to be suppressed, because awareness of it could lead to questions about transgender sexuality, and God knows they don’t want that.

Why Do Most Transgenders Not Want to Change Sex Also

The main reason transgenders do not also want to be the other physical sex is because their sexuality is not cross.

Inverse correlation depiction
Inverse correlation

The desire to change gender and the desire to change sex do not move hand-in-hand. The correlation is strongly inverse in transgenderism, intent to be of one sex and another gender.

This is a way of living that is desired by millions of people. And there are people who are also attracted to this way, which is good, or else where would love be found? It’s not that much of a rarity, not weird to them…

Myopia, glasses, society needs glasses to see T sex issues better.
Myopia: Society needs glasses to better see its own prejudice.

It’s just a way of living that does not fit society’s myopic faux binarism—with prejudice, bigotry, and transphobia—so people are afraid to admit it.

Hormones May be Stopped

Because the need is for personal gender to be more feminine or masculine, and/or to be the other gender role in society, hormones are usually taken to some extent.

Yet, because the sexuality is not cross—is cis—often the hormones are later dialed back, maybe stopped, so that a level of desired sexual functioning may be retained or regained.

Contrary to popular belief, an MtF trans woman with no SRS can still, in most cases, get an erection. Even if on hormones for years. It may not always happen as readily, but it will still work with normal arousal through vasocongestion. With prolonged use of feminine hormones and some atrophying, the penis may hurt some when that happens, because tissues are being stretched.

Hormones are often tapered or discontinued, later, to promote a desired level of sexual functioning, so she can more readily get and feel good with an erection for satisfaction, both for herself and also for a partner.

This may require ongoing medical care, because there are continuing reasons why some transgenders may wish to continue hormones, as in preventing male-pattern baldness, or achieving greater feminization.

False Excuses for Avoiding SRS
Saying yes but meaning no.
Saying you want something that you do not want.

Because of societal rejection, most transgenders at this stage of the transgender social movement’s evolution may feel nervous if a particular person is specified as cross gender yet not also wanting the other sex, or if discussion is going that way.

At such times, in perceived defense or alternately as a plea for perceived validity, I’ve heard false reasons given for why SRS—likely stated as GRS—cannot as yet or shouldn’t need to be obtained:

  • “I shouldn’t need to be sterilized to be considered female”
  • “I want to have children, some day,” or “I may want to have children some day,” when no children are forthcoming;
  • “I am allergic to anesthesia,” though it would be accepted if there were an auto accident or something;
  • “I need to wait until the children are grown; it would scar them”;
  • “I have no money.” Alone in Los Angeles, 1981, while a sophomore in college, so poor I lived in a one-room apartment, taking the bus because I had no car…I switched and got SRS in 7 months. It was not magic; I got a day job with insurance that paid for it.
  • “The only good surgeon is booked for the next couple of years, and I can’t get in.”

My experience with this is that how we shape ourselves and our lives will tend to reflect our inner needs. If something is not chosen, sought, done…then it wasn’t really wanted. If something truly is wanted, ways tend to be sought to achieve it.

If we could just agree non-binary sexuality is okay to have, hopefully we could merely be accepting, and people could value themselves as well, as they are.

The Transgender Umbrella is Sex-negativity Promoted as Truth

Viewing trans people as about gender role isn’t “truth”; it’s society trying clinging to binarism, somehow, while making a show of partially integrating non-binary people.

Viewing trans people as about social gender role prevents both transgenders and transsexuals from being valued for their own sexualities, prevents full integration of transgenderism, and even prevents society from owning or even discussing other sex issues that may relate.

The truth is that people are not binary. People make up society, so society is not binary. The concept of “two social roles” is forcing a sex-negative morality on people, preventing society from needing to own its own prejudice.

Cooperating with T Sex-negativity is Transphobia

Society: You are the culprit, here.

You need to own your hate that drives rejection of trans sex issues, the cause of transgender people who say to hide it. You are doing that, and putting T sex-avoidant or sex-negative things on your websites, in your laws and classrooms, even in your research, is transphobia where ever it occurs. That is you.

Trans people: That goes for us, too. Society hates sex-and-gender non-binarism, so you agree to hide it? Individuals may choose personal privacy, but the way of living must be socially known and stated by organizations and institutions as okay.

Organizations like the APA, Planned Parenthood, GLAAD, HRC…all need to state and accept trans person varied sexualities as they really are, and stop dancing around it like a third rail.

T sex-negativity is the problem, here, and T sex-positivity is needed to cure it.

The Cure is to Make T Sex Issues Okay

“But if we admit it, people will reject us.” This is a statement of someone in denial.

Trans person sex issues are not a secret. People already know about them.

With acceptance of diversity, this is part of the richness of our society—NOT something bad or unwanted. It must not be that we hate those who have changed but that we value their whole person.

And people talk—not to us, but to each other. The common stealth denial is they don’t.

  • You feel real, so you are real. You are as you identify (See Tenets, #6).
  • “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck.” That is simply not true, a rationalization.

People tend to perceive things over time, have their own idea of what people are, and there is no such thing as a good secret. Discussion happens.

The cure is not hiding from unacceptable sexuality.

The cure is making it okay.

We are Unwanted Minorities

All of us—however a trans person—should be aware that we are unwanted minorities, and there are people in society who do not accept, don’t want to accept, or who wish us harm. I’ve experienced it. It’s the same with Black people, gay people, whomever is unwanted. Society needs to state what this is and make it clear it’s okay.

We must get out of this notion that we are actually the same as “normal” women and men and accept ourselves as trans people. We are not and never will be “normal” or the binary sense of woman or man. We are trans. And awareness of this must become part of self-acceptance, of social safety management, of advocacy for inclusion and equality.

I assert I am not “transgender”; that is horribly offensive. I’m not saying I didn’t change gender; I’m saying referring to me that way is demeaning. I am transsexual—that is my main issue, far deeper than gender role which is superficial to me. My need is to be the other binary, the other sex, and I’ve done all medical science can do toward that end. I’d do more if there was any way possible. I am willing to be in an experiment to change chromosomes, if I could find one.