TRANSSEXUALISM: 20th century examples of needing to be the other sex, left to right: Lili Elbe, Christine Jorgensen, Canary Conn, Reneé Richards, Jan Morris, Jenna Ware. (Some of us continue into the 21st century.)
TRANSGENDERISM: A 20th century example, Virginia Prince promoted the need to change gender but not sex, which is the vast majority of all trans persons. Popular early 21st century leaders who promote the transgender paradigm. Left to right: Janet Mock, Caitlyn Jenner, Laverne Cox, Jenny Boylan.

Introduction
Definitions and Differences
Trans People See Sex and Gender Differently
The “Transgender” Paradigm Must Evolve
How to Take a Neutral Position

Click here for notes on why I am “transsexual,” not “transgender.”

Introduction

Against my will, I’m socially identified as about gender with an offensive sexuality, my most deeply-held core issue, the need to be the other sex, is not supposed to be spoken or included. Calling me “transgender” says it’s offensive to be what I am, to say what I am and am not, and that I must, instead, identify with people who say I shouldn’t exist.

And the hell of it is, for me to even say what I just said has become offensive. That kicks me while I’m down, adding burden to an already difficult life as an unwanted minority. These differences are meaningful in the heart, are still here, and don’t go away when you hide them. Instead, the pain gets worse.

Please don’t judge us by our appearance, not a social gender-only movement that oppresses T sexualities, and certainly not just by an unverifiable statement of identity, without demonstrated actions to clarify intentions.

Definitions and Differences

TRANSSEXUALISM is the demonstrated need to be the other physical sex, to be the other binary. Physical sex cannot as yet be changed, a limitation of current medical science, a pain that must be endured by those of us with the need. It is worse when people say I shouldn’t have this need which I’ve had every day of my life.

  • My need is to be the other actual sex;
  • I cannot be because of the limitations of medical science;
  • I cannot be myself, ever in this life;
  • Therefore I am miserable about this every day;
  • Life is at risk if SRS not achieved for this primary purpose of needing to be the other actual sex;
  • Chance of SRS regret is unlikely;
  • I do not need to be non-binary, on a continuum; my need is to be the other binary;
  • Life has always been hard, but in the 20th century, at least I could say what I was and be known for it, had a narrative;
  • Now, in the 21st century, the narrative is gone, and people “know” I’m “transgender”;
  • My sexual response is as a female—not just because of post-surgical anatomy but because it’s neurological for me;
  • I can be open about this, even if people do not believe me any more;
  • This social rejection curtails most aspects of individual and group associations as I’m thought to be what I cannot be, and typically I’m not allowed to even say what I am and am not;
  • Finding love is harder because people assume I am genitally cissex, per the practice of most trans people;
  • I can’t even get medical care without being rejected by doctors, nurses, Electronic Health Records (EHR) which insist on gender-not-sex references;
  • Medical abuse is more common for transsexuals, because SRS is a medical curiosity; medical staff remain prejudiced; no-SRS is often assumed if

TRANSGENDERISM is the demonstrated need to live in another gender role yet not to become the other actual sex, to be sex-and-gender non-binary. Medical science and society can do this.

  • The need is to be somewhere on a gender continuum, sex-and-gender non-binary, of one sex and another gender;
  • They can do this with current medical science;
  • They can be themselves, can be happy about becoming themselves;
  • Life has always been hard, but it is easier in the 21st century as society offers at least a partial acceptance, though without sex issues included, integration will remain marginal;
  • Sexual response is usually active and cissex, which I believe is usually the main reason SRS is avoided, even thought mutilating;
  • Virginia Prince, PhD and I agree that being about the gender change yet having SRS is not transsexualism, as many people have SRS for a secondary reason (social validity in role, access to other-sex-only areas, sexual experimentation…);
  • Later SRS regret is more likely if it was for secondary reasons;
  • Sex issues are usually downplayed to keep focus on gender-not-sex issues;
  • A gender-focused narrative is known;
  • Finding love tends to be restricted to gynandromorphophilia or each other, as one must be interested in or at least not mind someone being of one sex and another gender;
  • The medical community is oriented toward accepting transgender patients, at least openly; EHR has datafields for it; many staff are prejudiced; yet abuse still occurs.

Trans People See Sex and Gender Differently

It should be clear that people see sex and gender differently. Ts in general tend to see it differently from society, and TSs tend to see it differently from TGs. For some, gender role is paramount; for others, the other physical sex is paramount.

The “Transgender” Paradigm Must Evolve

I hope the transgender social movement is a stepping stone on the path to social integration, not the end goal, because it is so wrong to suppress diversity and live in social denial of one’s sexuality. I have been involved since 1977, and I’ve seen this develop and change in society. Sex-and-gender non-binarism, and all trans person sexualities, need to come out of the closet and begin to be treated equally as okay, following in the footsteps of our brothers and sisters in the gay movement.

I agree with Virginia Prince, Ph.D., that it is important not to use gender role as an umbrella for all trans people, as to do so impairs understanding of trans people who need to be the opposite sex from each other.

How to Take a Neutral Position
We need to learn to coexist, together, in peace, without giving up ourselves so that we only reinforce someone else's vision of who we should be.
Coexistence does not mean we get along if I let you define me. It means co-existing with each other while we’re ourselves. And that must include transsexualism, also.

“Trans person” or “trans people” are neutral, favor neither gender nor sex and include everyone. That’s why they’re eschewed by many transgender advocates who want it to be about gender-not-sex.

On a personal level: It is important to ask people how they identify, how they prefer to be referenced, and then do it—even by various means when the person is not present.

On an organizational level: It is important, however to state and accept both sex and gender in T lives, as without that, trans person lives are hurt, integration is limited, and hate crimes enabled.

You may not like my religion. You may believe it’s wrong. You may believe God, himself, condemns it, and that I will go to hell for it. But if I tell you it’s mine, you need to accept that it is. It would be rude, even hostile, to argue with me that your religion is right and mine is wrong. That would not be acceptance of diversity.

You should use neutral language. But if you do include “gender identity,” for example, then you should also include “sex identity,” etc. to balance, as without that, you are engaged in gender supremacy, gender bigotry, excluding, suppressing, not accepting diversity.